Dr. John A. Zoidberg
Because: Why not?
Portrait of doctor John A. Zoidberg
Zoidberg is the company doctor at Planet Express. Although he claims expertise in human medicine, particularly internal medicine, his knowledge of human anatomy and physiology is poor. He has been shown as unable to tell the difference between robots and humans (or human males and females), believes food is digested in the heart, and that humans have multiple mouths and a dorsal fin.
His only knowledge of humans seems to come from television advertisements, although his skills as a physician generally vary: in "Put Your Head on My Shoulders" he manages to successfully transplant Fry's head onto Amy's body after Fry's body incurs massive trauma in a vehicular accident that requires extensive repair, but in Into the Wild Green Yonder he incorrectly declares Fry dead only for him to wake up a few seconds later. In Bender's Big Score, he performs several limb reattachments to moderate success. It may be assumed that advances in medical technology have made limb and head reattachment a simple process, as in "Bender's Big Score" head reattachment is shown to be little more than applying a paste to the area and placing the head back on (a process that works even if the head is on backwards, as shown). In "Parasites Lost", due to his incompetence as a physician, he comes to the conclusion that Fry, who is frequently injured, is a hypochondriac, an accusation he makes when Fry sits before Zoidberg with a pipe through his chest. He claims to be an M.D., but states in "A Clone of My Own" that he lost his medical degree in a volcano. However, he later states in "The Duh-Vinci Code" that his doctorate is in art history (as opposed to medicine). Other intimations to his dubious medical training include the episode "Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles", in which he comments, "I'm no doctor, but this machine guy could really use a lozenge."